Couldn’t stress it enough. You could ask all the closest ones who surround me just how much I abide by this simple concept.
To me, the universe is a game; a physical representation of the energies within us all. Every person I meet seems to be a reflection of myself and every moment is a lesson to be analyzed immensely. I view my obstacles as a way of proving myself to “the universe,” and when I overcome the worst, it’s like a way of beating a level or just kicking life in the ass. It’s all a big joke honestly. Almost like a humorous sitcom or one of those guilty pleasure reality shows like Bad Girls Club or Love & Hip Hop.
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All scenarios that occur in my daily life feel as though they are being witnessed by an entity elsewhere. I swear someone’s watching me and if I had to guess, I’d say someone is probably watching you too. Your journey is for no one else to understand. (Except for that spiritual fictional character that almost hovers seamlessly over you, controlling every aspect of your life) But don’t be alarmed! It’s okay. I think everyone’s little friend up there (or “in there,” who knows?) just wants the best for you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’m getting a little wonky by this point, but I never said I wasn’t willing to go off the deep end.
Your friend, the universe, will never dare give you something you can’t handle.
Where was I getting with this? AH, that’s right, good intentions. Prime example: You litter on a street that has a trash can across the block and know it’s wrong. So when you get home that night, there’s a roach sitting comfortably on your bathroom trashcan.
You’ll steal a lighter (fuck you for that) and not only will you most likely lose that lighter, but you’ll use yours and realize it ran out of fluid.
If you short one of your customers for a few grams, you get robbed for a pound.
Or that one waitress you wouldn’t tip because she didn’t smile enough, and that same money falls out your pocket on the way home.
It’s how it works, I swear. (At least for me) It’s a big joke, I’m not kidding.
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I changed rooms midterms and tried getting into my newly assigned dormitory building that my current key couldn’t open, so I asked the first chick walking out to open it for me. She said she wasn’t allowed to do that for me and seemed pretty agitated by my attempt, but managed to open the door anyway. Of course, I’m just judging the fuck out of this girl like, “who does she think she is? Not letting me in the building and shit, are you an RA? Im not gunna bomb your building, I swear I’m a student I’m wearing a vintage bomber sweatshirt with curly bangs. I got on those mom jeans that my mom hates. Do you REALLY think I don’t belong here?”
So after checking out this building (watching cable television in the lobby for 2 hours) I finally built the stamina to go to my new room and meet my new fellow roommates. A kind eyed girl opens the door already suspecting my arrival (which startled me since my old roommates wouldn’t dare show that much emotion) and introduces herself with so much excitement. I’m shocked and baffled, how do I handle such cuteness? I’m flattered by this point and ready to rumble. This chick had a Keurig that she was willing to share, I knew it was lit from the get.
“Rachel! Your new roommate is here!” she shouts to the back room. Footsteps approach and man I’m on the edge of my toes and her shadow is getting closer. Oh boy, I hear her breathes from several feet away, the air that’ll soon be in my private bubble for the next 6 months. I was so pumped to meet this chick, you have no idea.
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And there she is!!!
It’s the girl who didn’t wanna open the damn door for me.
Out of the around 320 people that live in this building I managed to snag a room with this chick and at this very moment the universe is laughing at me with a bowl of popcorn.
But no worries, I got to know her and this girl is fresh as hell, no joke. Cynthia had the largest pair of turtle slippers and a vintage Wacom. She was awesome. All her Manga was premium. She gave me her last command strip so I can hang my Ralph Lauren robe and played Nintendo DS regularly. I knew she was a team player when she brought her Wii to the dorm so all of us could play. It was the little things, like making room for me in the fridge and never touching my shampoo even if her hair smelt of quarters. That’s when I realized that she was just watching out for the homies. She was securing the premises. She’s the coyote of the house, the one who survives the winter. Without her, our dorm would’ve likely had some unsavory individuals in it. If someone didn’t need to be there she was just the one who’d be in the lobby doing laundry so she can tell that homie with no key to scram. I fucked with it and overtime I grew to appreciate her. I judged her because she had the balls to do something no ignorant college kid would ever feel the need to do, but she was just following the rules and I judged her for doing so. Smh Riley, never again.
The Midnight Drive
I learned something valuable that day. I learn every day. With instances far more severe than that I still giggle sometimes at my misfortunes because I always see the light in the hole. Just search for it. Live happily and realize everything is temporary. I’m not a writer, I’m an expressionist. I seek to innovate in all forms because I’m obsessed with making my thoughts become visible and accessible. Although, that’s not the point. The point is I’m here to share with you my current mindset. My stuck in Paris at 2:24 am vibes, and everyday thoughts.
There was something within me that wanted to find a way where I could give my most positive thoughts to the people who need it most. And even though some aren’t as successful as the last, the point is I tried with the best intentions I possibly could.
Just do good. Stick with the basics like when moms told you to “do to other what you want done to yourself.” Stay passionate and thirsty for the best and never settle. I swear, even if my impractical and almost lunatic-worthy and overly sensitive theories seem like the most irrational concepts you’ve ever laid eyes on, just know I told you that if you live every moment with no intent to hurt others, disrupt your peers, damage yourself, or just down right take this weird ass experience of life as a negative downward spiral, you’ll be straight. It’s all just balance, you get what you give. Happiness is trying to find you.